We live in a world full of prescriptions. You must be this kind of husband, this kind of dad, this kind of employee, this kind of leader, this kind of voter and on and on. On one hand, “keys to success” can inspire and motivate us to be better people. But for who and by who’s definition of “better”?
The underlying, and conspicuous message is that you are not good enough. And if you were to take all of this (usually unsolicited) advice as God’s honest truth and attempt to apply it, you would quickly validate that message. It’s an impossible task to live up to the illusions of perfection, shared incessantly by imperfect people. So again I ask, for whose benefit are we raking ourselves over the coals, consuming, digesting and measuring ourselves against each of these self-help tips that populate our feeds?
Is your wife telling you that you are a bad husband or is it someone else outside of that specific relationship? If so, what do they want out of you? Are they just trying to sell you a prescription, perhaps? Have they simply invented this perceived deficiency and seeded the problem in your mind so that they can also offer you the cure?
Or did God whisper in your ear and tell you that you’re not living up to being the partner he intended you to be?
The answer of who - the lifestyle blogger, the couples counselor, the pharmaceutical company or God - presented you with this problem is critical and should be understood by you before you embark on any prescribed treatment plans.
“Stop trusting in mere humans,
who have but a breath in their nostrils.
Why hold them in esteem?”
Where are you being led? And where are you leading others - either by words, actions or both?
To answer these questions, you need to know, or have a vision of, the desired destination as well as whose approval it is you seek. What does a perfect husband look like? What are the attributes of an ideal father and what makes those qualities important? What kind of action does a stand-out employee take, and what restraints does he self-impose? To whose satisfaction?
Only with a clear picture of who and where you want to be can you really discern good advice from bad, progress from stagnation or regression. Pearls of wisdom offered up by verified accounts online, in keynote speeches and at book signing events often sound life-changing and inspiring on the surface. But what are you being sold and is it really meant to help you, or is it meant to please the sponsors and line their pockets?
Consider these questions carefully, especially when the prescription is offered for a condition you weren’t previously aware existed nor had you been afflicted.